Throughout our lives, we experience many moments in our lives, good and bad. Sometimes, when everything is going well, a stone appears in front of us and we can trip over it. But have you noticed that some people smile because they fall and get up quickly, some wait for the pain to subside, some get up by holding a hand, some get up and bandage their wounds, some cry, suffer and need a little more time to get up.
This is exactly what life offers us. We all go on a bumpy road in our lives. Although we always want our path to be pure and bright, there are situations that we have to strive for since the existence of humanity. Health problems, economic burdens, family/relationship problems, death of a relative, earthquake, violence, up to high tension events…
Although these events seem to be precedents in our lives, it is obvious that we all give different emotional reflections. While some of us are weak in the face of a challenging situation and need much more time to stand up, some of us get up and bandage their wounds, as I said above. No need to go far. Right now, stop and take a look around you. For example, do you know someone who has lost a relative? How did he overcome this situation? Now imagine another lost acquaintance you know. How did he react?
How do we give such different reflections to such precedent events?
Here we come across the concept of mental health. Spiritual strength is derived from the Latin root ‘resilience’, which means that something is elastic and can easily return to its original state. In the American Heritage Dictionary, resilience means ‘quick recovery from change, illness and misfortune, recovery’. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), it is defined as the process of achieving good harmony in the face of valuable sources of tension such as torment, trauma, tragedy, threats, family/relationship problems, important health issues or economic stress factors. Translated into Turkish as resilience, resilience, resilience or resilience, this concept abstract; It means the ability of a person to recover faster, beautify and return to his old functionality in challenging life events. Although mental resilience becomes a personality trait in some of us, these skills are skills that can be learned and developed.
‘Bamboo that stretches is stronger than oak that resists.’
Psychological resilience, in other words, spiritual flexibility is likened to bamboo cane. It is said that bamboo cane has an unbreakable and flexible structure and returns to its original form after it is worn. As we see with bamboo, being flexible does not mean that a person will not experience a traumatic event or encounter stressors. Of course, even though we have a flexible psychology, we can feel sad, wrong, embarrassed and helpless in the face of a negative situation. However, thanks to spiritual flexibility, it will be much easier and faster to get rid of the emotional effects created by these situations. Moreover, we not only come out of these influences, but also begin to take stronger steps by making sense of what we experience.
Let’s take a look at the characteristics of people with mental health and what we can do to improve these characteristics.
As a result of the researches, the ones observed in individuals with mental resilience;
The individual has high self-respect, looks to the future with a positive perspective, that is, with hope, has a high sense of humor in the face of problems, chooses to face instead of escaping from troubles, develops a different perspective in the face of the tense event he has experienced, is flexible, the way of perceiving the problem is on the side of making meaning, realistic life goals that they are aware of their feelings and do not suppress them.
Yes, these are nice things, but if you say how I will do it;
Instead of denying the change in your life, try to harmonize. Yes, we tripped on that stone and fell. Blaming the stone or ourselves will do nothing but torment us and waste time. Focus on how to get up.
Try to change your perspective. We cannot change what happened, but we can change our attitude towards the event. For this, we first need to make changes to our intent form. For example, a project that is very valuable to you was not accepted. You cannot go back and get this project accepted. However, you can produce alternative analysis methods by changing the opinions that you are unsuccessful and inadequate due to the rejection of the project.
What did you find best in your most distressing situations? Think about your previous experience. How did you overcome that situation? Here, we can sometimes come across the answer ‘it wasn’t such a bad thing’. If you think you have not experienced this bad, I would like to remind you that; Wasn’t he the worst then too?
Ask yourself what you can do for the problem that is pushing you. Sometimes there may not be a single analysis of our problems, sometimes the analysis may be too big in our eyes. You can go step by step by breaking the problem into segments, thereby reducing the level of tension created by that big and complex problem. The smaller you divide the problem into modules, the easier it will be for you to find your solutions and take steps.
Create daily routines that work for you. Finding satisfaction within yourself will increase your skill. Do you enjoy drinking coffee? Give yourself this time with the music you love.
Discover your strengths and focus on them. Nobody is great, can you give an example of a great person? We are a whole with our mistakes, our rights, what we did or did not do. Consider what you’ve done so far to see how realistic our brutal criticism of ourselves is.
Allow your body to feel better. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase ‘it’s psychological’. Because tension is both a physical, mental and behavioral reflection. With regular sleep, training and real nutrition, your body can cope with tension.
you can make it out.
Don’t give up hope. One of the biggest supporters of depression is lack of expectation. Individuals begin to lose their ability to plan for the future due to being trapped in the past or the pain of the present. Creating positive expectations for the future will motivate you to take steps and prevent you from being trapped in the pain of the past.
Act in a stable form in line with the goals you have set. I have spoken of hope before. Expecting something from life. Having realistic goals in line with these expectations will enable you to take concrete steps to take action. Setting priorities for your goals and following a real order from near to far and putting them down on paper will help you take which step to start.
Look at every torment you experience with the eye of rediscovering yourself. In the face of negative events, a person either grows or disperses. But it never stays where it is. Making new meanings as a result of our efforts makes us grow for the next effort.
‘What will give light must first withstand burning.’ (Victor Frankl)
Use the power of social reinforcement. Although the analysis is inside you and in your ideas, close ties with family and friends will provide you with crutches. Studies have shown that social reinforcement resources provide financial, emotional and mental assistance to individuals.
APA’s research shows that in addition to personal relationships, participating in non-governmental organizations and local organizations can also provide social reinforcement and help restore hope. You can join a group that will give you a sense of purpose.
Do not hesitate to seek spiritual reinforcement when you need it. While some of us can successfully apply the techniques I mentioned above, some of us may get stuck and have difficulty getting up from where we fell. You can learn and develop these skills by taking the path of self-discovery in therapy.
Although psychological resilience can be measured through some tests, it is not possible to experience it without competing with that stone. If you’ve ever wondered what my spiritual resilience is, you can review your past and ask yourself the following questions?
I can’t get out of the negative events I’ve been through for a long time.’
I will overcome my problems in a short time.’
I am waiting for your answers.