On the basis of the ‘child’ recipes that appear in the heads of adults with the compulsion/direction of many different variables, the question ‘What do we want the child to do for us’ takes priority rather than their ‘What kind of child do we want’.
Children are accepted as beings both shaped by the society they live in and shaping the society they live in.
The family is the place where the first steps of the socialization of the child are taken. Intra-family ties determine self-respect, self-identity, and accordingly, its place in society.
Parents have different ways of raising children. Parental style plays a valuable role in the development of the child’s social skills, school success, psycho-social development and behavioral problems.
OPPRESSIVE SOLID ATTITUDE
We see that parents, who set out with an effort to make the child a small adult in accordance with the patterns they live in, behave in this manner.
Parents’ eyes are always on these children. They always look for fault in their behavior, sitting, standing, talking, laughing, eating and drinking.
High expectations from the child but insensitive to the child’s needs
Appreciates obedience, intolerant of questioning rules
Experiences inconsistency in following own rules
Often the reasons for rules are unknown, rules are not for questioning but for obeying.
Only the wish to avoid punishment is an obstacle to wrongdoing.
Is sensitive to the child’s demands and needs
Weak in setting boundaries and expectations from the child
The child is not expected to mature, and his faults are not confronted.
Children with such parents are the most unsuccessful in every field.
They often show behavior problems
Their social harmony and school success are low
This approach makes the child feel that he is never beautiful enough. For example, criticizing the behaviors expected from the age of the child and punishing him for his inadequacy, comparing him with the children who are more advanced than him, pushing him into a competitive environment and defining him as ‘incompetent and incompetent’…
EXPLANATORY AUTHORITARIAN PARENT
Boundaries and rules are absolute.
Expectations from the child are clear.
The parent is sensitive to the child.
The child knows what is expected of him, the rules and reasons, and is also aware that the parent follows their own needs and values their ideas.
The child’s opinion is taken when making decisions.
Child’s ends are valued
It is ensured that positive behavior is appreciated and rewarded rather than punishments.
Such parents give importance to their children to be able to talk about themselves, to be socially responsible, to stand on their own two feet and to be cooperative.
Children with descriptive authoritarian parents have a kind of internal mechanism that regulates their feelings and behaviors by internalizing them because they know the reasons and the rules are not made without measure.
Since the parent is clear in setting boundaries for the child, it does not come to the point of getting out of trouble.
Sets a stable model for the child
Because the child is sensitive, expectations and obligations are realistic and consistent with the child’s age, abilities and developmental level.
The child has positive feelings about himself and his self-confidence rises.
They socialize, are at peace with themselves, are compatible with school and working life.
BEING AN EFFECTIVE PARENT
Being an active parent means having a way in which the emotional needs of the child (love, appreciation, attention, closeness) are recognized and met, mutual expectations and rules are clear, and the connection is maintained in a healthy way. An active parent is successful in taking care of the child and making them listen to his words. The connection with the child is not based on pressure and anxiety, but on mutual faith and intimacy.